Queerguru’s Janet Prolman reviews “HELEN AND THE BEAR” a true and remarkably uncoventional queer love story

Helen and the Bear is unique among the films I generally review for Queerguru.com.

Initially, I was put off watching a woman of my generation (who reads dykier than I do!) married and devoted to a big burly man. However, as the story deepened, so did my respect and feelings for it.

Such is art. And this documentary is artfully and lovingly made. The director Alix Blair is Helen’s niece, and by deciding to do her own cinematography she achieved an intimate POV that is rare and special.

As a child, Helen identified as a boy, and though she didn’t particularly think of herself as a lesbian as she matured, neither did she consider herself heterosexual. She had a few love affairs and eventually fell in love with “The Bear”: Pete McCloskey, a lifelong politician for whom she had worked as a staff member. He was 26 years older than she was, and a liberal Republican who eventually changed parties. History will remember him as a veteran and Republican who was strongly opposed to the War in Vietnam, and who also called for the impeachment of President Richard Nixon.

At the time the movie was shot, Helen was 70 years old, and at 96, Pete was nearing the end of his life. In many scenes, Helen is shown carrying the weight of his dependency on her shoulders. She cooks and cleans the house and takes care of him, and she also cares for their many pets and farm animals, as well as their land. She seems to toil from dawn to darkness, usually without complaint. Though clearly exhausted, she manages to provide Pete with tenderness and comfort as she joins him in their bed at night.

Her tenderness to their animals is evident and very moving. Pete and Helen’s love of their California landscape and of animals is one of their strongest bonds. She even manages to take him on a camping trip, doing all the packing and loading as well as all the driving. Scenes of her mucking stalls and walking or running the dogs and even assisting a veterinarian when one animal must be euthanized, are deeply moving. She even digs a grave for the pet, and weeps alone when her work there is done.

Lest we believe this has been a fairy tale marriage, we are informed that each member of the couple engaged in multiple affairs with women in earlier years. Helen muses about looking forward to her freedom, but concludes that when Pete does pass, she will hate being in their bed alone.

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Janet Prolman was born in Boston, Massachusetts,  where her mother nicknamed her “my little queer.” She has also lived in North Carolina and New York. A lover of short stories, theater, music, and performance, she knows the lyrics to almost every song or advertising jingle she’s ever heard. Now on Cape Cod, she enjoys kayaking and frequenting Provincetown.