One mom carried & the other breastfed: How IVF & induced lactation made it all possible

Allie and Sam, the lesbian moms of twin boys, who have completely opened their lives to their 360 thousand Instagram followers. The couple has shared endless details of their fertility journey, no doubt in an effort to destigmatize queer parenting as well as to help other LGBTQ+ families.

Recently, the pair posted a video with answers to some of the most common questions they get as a two-mom family, questions like who’s the mom (both of them); who’s the real mom (both of them); who’s the dad? (there isn’t one); what do the kids call them (mummy and other mummy, but it changes who is who).

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There is always something we can do.

They also explained their long journey to having children, which involved failed IUI attempts followed by three failed IVF embryo transfers before the fourth one finally worked.

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A post shared by ALLIE + SAM CONWAY (@allieandsam)

The couple also said that while Allie carried the babies, Sam was the one who breastfed. The short video did not go into detail on how that worked, but the couple has posted in the past about the experience that they say allowed them to create the “ultimate team effort.”

“We initially started our fertility journey with the intention that Sam would carry,” they wrote in a 2023 post. “However, our road led us to eventually doing reciprocal IVF, where one partner’s eggs are used, and the other one carries!”

They explained that Allie had not initially wanted to be pregnant and knew that after nine months of carrying the babies, she would not want to sacrifice her body anymore.

Sam, however, wanted to breastfeed. With a specialist, she underwent a process called induced lactation, which involves months of pumping and hormone therapy to essentially trick the body into thinking it is pregnant and trigger milk production. It worked well for Sam, who was able to breastfeed the twins exclusively.

“I think it’s so special that we both got to be part of this journey,” Allie wrote. “It was also great to share the body load. I’m so happy I had the chance to sleep and rest and recover after birth, and Sam could take right over care of the boys while I got back on my feet and slept, because I didn’t have to pump or breastfeed. It worked out so well for us!!!”

The post was accompanied by a series of photos of the happy couple in which Allie is pregnant, and Sam is pumping in preparation for the twins’ arrival.

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A post shared by ALLIE + SAM CONWAY (@allieandsam)

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