Gay man calls out Pope for “deigning” to bless same-sex couples: “Not a blessing, it’s an insult”

LGBTQ+ advocates are excited about the Vatican’s declaration that same-sex couples can now be blessed – but one gay man is not celebrating at all.

In an op-ed for The Guardian, Matt Cain (former editor-in-chief of Attitude) said the Church has merely “deign[ed]” to bless gay couples and that it’s “not a blessing, it’s an insult.”

Related: Pope Francis approves blessing same-sex couples in “major step forward”

The Catholic Church still maintains marriage can only be between a man and a woman.

“You can stick your blessing, Pope Francis,” Cain declared. “It’s a fig leaf, a PR exercise, a means of laundering your prejudice to make it seem like a step towards acceptance.”

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Cain’s piece delves into the deep shame and internalized homophobia he felt for decades as a result of Catholic teachings. He explained how the Pope’s continued condemnation of same-sex marriage (despite his approval of the blessings) shows the Church hasn’t actually changed.

He detailed his 1980s childhood attending a British Catholic school, where the other kids called him “poof,” “pansy,” and “queer.”

“It didn’t occur to me to report them to a teacher,” he said. “The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to my sin. It was my own fault I was being bullied. I was consumed by guilt.

In school, he learned that AIDS is God’s punishment for gay men. He never imagined a future for himself that involved marriage or happiness.

“The belief that being gay was morally abhorrent was widespread. But it was worse in my Catholic schools,” he continued. “Because homophobia wasn’t just sanctioned by the government… it was apparently sanctioned by God. And nobody could argue with that.”

All of this, he said, led to years of “self-destruction” involving alcohol abuse and excessive partying. “Then I had five years of psychotherapy to work through my feelings and undo the damage. By the time we were given full marriage equality in 2013, I’d started to think that maybe one day I might just find love – and deserve it.” He finally found love in his 40s.

All of this, he said, is why the Church’s halfhearted acceptance of same-sex couples won’t cut it. He blasted the religion for the fact that it now “grudgingly offers to ‘bless’ unions that it explicitly cannot ‘approve’ of. It’s almost hilariously hypocritical.”

While Cain no longer believes in God, he expressed empathy for the LGBTQ+ people who still do. “Shouldn’t the Catholics among them be entitled to the same marriage rights as everyone else?” he asked.

He then spoke directly to Pope Francis, telling him “nice try” but that “nothing less than equality will work for me.”

“And I’ll take a full apology while you’re at it. Because that’s what I deserve. And only then will my wounds truly heal.”

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