Five things you should never say to an asexual person

Asexual, or ace, is a label given to those who experience little or no sexual attraction to other people.

But it shouldn’t be confused with celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sex: asexual men and women might not experience sexual attraction to someone but could choose to have sex for other reasons. 

Asexuality is, however, on the spectrum, so no two people are the same. Some may choose to have a relationship, while others could reject that notion.

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LGBTQ+ young people’s charity, Just Like Us, released data for Asexual Awareness Day, held annually on 6 April, which revealed that more than a quarter of asexual people feel the LGBTQ+ community excludes them.

A different report found that, on average, only one in six asexual people have had a universally positive experience of being out. 

But more people than you might realise are asexual, including Heartstopper author Alice Oseman and Project Runway’s Tim Gunn.

In our video, Elenor, who is asexual, highlights five things you should never say to an asexual person. 

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“You’ve never drunk, how do you know you’re not thirsty?” Elenor says in response to the ridiculous question. 

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“They said the same thing about my Harry Potter phase. Did it change? Nope,” Elenor says. 

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Elenor responds to those who compare aromantics – who experience little or no romantic attraction to anyone – to asexuals, who experience little or no sexual attraction to others, by saying: “If one plus equals two, then surely two plus two must equal three.” 

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“Baby, I was born this way,” Elenor answers bluntly. 

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“And you just don’t know what it feels like to be asexual,” Elenor points out.