8 jobs Nikki Haley can pursue after her presidential campaign ends

Former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. Nikki Haley will likely drop out of the Republican presidential race soon after her dismal showing in yesterday’s Super Tuesday primaries. The question now becomes what she’ll do next (and whether she’ll endorse former President Donald Trump in the general election.)

But as the last woman standing against Trump, she has picked up plenty of marketable job skills that’ll see her through the coming years. Here are just a few jobs she could easily slide into now that her race for the Oval Office has ended.

Related: Nikki Haley only sounds moderate. She’s a right-wing extremist too.

The former UN ambassador is a darling of the non-Trump GOP, but her campaign is still going nowhere fast.

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It’s pretty common for also-rans to pre-emptively publish an inspiring memoir before launching their campaigns. Haley did the same with her boldly titled 2012 book, Can’t Is Not an Option: My American Story. But she has also written three other books, including one about international politics and one a book of business advice. Her recent campaign experience would easily fill another book or two, and the resulting media tour would give her a chance to continue raising her pubic profile.

Media pundit

It’s also a given that recent campaign drop-outs will be invited by mainstream and conservative media outlets to analyze and comment on the remaining general election. Haley would make an especially entertaining pundit since she has repeatedly criticized both Trump and former President Joe Biden, giving the general election the sort of glum realism that many voters already feel.

Democratic campaign surrogate

Last month, California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) called Haley a strong surrogate for Democrats because her criticisms of Trump are “spot-on on 99%.” He’s right! So instead of crawling back to the GOP “big tent” ruled by a Florida man facing 91 criminal charges and Rep. Marjorie “Jewish space lasers” Taylor Greene (R-GA), she can proudly march over to the Democratic field and oppose their rise, making an argument for restoring sanity to the political process.

Advocate for veteran families

Haley rose to the challenge after Trump, a notorious Vietnam War draft dodger, questioned the whereabouts of her husband, Michael Haley, on the campaign trail. It turned out that Mr. Haley is a U.S. Army service member who had been deployed to Africa.

Haley’s resulting campaign ad, highlighting Trump’s past insults of military vets as “suckers” and “losers,” and her comment that “If you mock the service of a combat veteran, you don’t deserve a driver’s license, let alone being president of the United States,” shows that she could be a great advocate for other veteran families who feel insulted by the nation’s poor treatment of sick and impoverished soldiers.

International diplomat

Haley already showed she can serve as an even-headed diplomat to the U.N. serving under the most chaotic and combative presidency of all time. While she likely won’t serve as U.S. ambassador to the U.N. again, she could use that experience to do diplomatic work on behalf of an international corporation or even help foreign countries understand the diplomatic workings of the U.S.

Campaign consultant for women

As the lone woman in the 2024 Republican presidential primary, Haley had to compete against a bevy of gross and misogynist competitors — including Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis who claimed that she supports genital mutilation and trasphobe Vivek Ramaswamy who called her “a fascist neocon with lipstick.” Haley shook off both competitors by establishing a website entirely dedicated to DeSantis’ lies and suggesting that Ramaswamy has “a girl problem.”

Haley already published her 2022 book of advice for career women entitled, If You Want Something Done: Leadership Lessons from Bold Women. She could continue by establishing herself as a consultant for women who want to persevere in the male-dominated world of politics.

Greeting card artist

Who can forget Haley’s brilliant (and somewhat homoerotic) Valentine’s Day cards using Trump’s own words to express love for his favorite foreign dictators? The cards were stylish, funny, topical, and imminently shareable with just the sort of trendy look that greeting card companies are undoubtedly looking for. Time to capitalize on those desktop publishing skills.

Rocket scientist or brain surgeon

After Trump attacked Haley as a “bird brain,” what better way to show off her true intelligence than by becoming an aeronautic astrophysicist or a neurosurgeon — two words that Trump would likely have trouble even pronouncing. Yes, it would take years, if not decades, of additional schooling. But Haley is only 52 years old, giving her plenty of time to distinguish herself in a new career and to dance on Trump’s grave while holding a Nobel prize for whatever scientific advancement she achieves.

Who’s the bird brain now, worm feast?

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